[Page 54]
A Nine Year Old Girl
Bears the Burden of the Generation
by Lucia Rotman-Greenspan
(A girl who visited with her uncle Moshe Melech Widenbaum)
At school they taught us that Lizhensk is an important city and that it
belonged to C.O.P.[1].
To us, this fact was subordinate to its importance to Jewish Hassidism. The
other fact meant very little. However we remembered this fact, and we did not
realize that it would have significance for us in the future.
On September 4, 1939, when I was still a young girl, the Germans bombed the
city since it was listed as a C.O.P., as a manufacturing city, and the regional
manufacturing center, so to speak.
The confusion was great. My uncle decided that we had to leave the danger zone.
He bought us, myself, and his wife, my aunt to a Jew in a village near
Sieniawa. The parting was difficult. We returned to Lizhensk on the eve of Rosh
Hashanah. The danger of the bombing had passed
The Germans had entered
the city.
I remember very well the first day under the Germans. My uncle owned a large
flour storehouse, and he would hire wagon drivers from among the neighboring
gentiles every day of the year. I was shocked when I saw that these wagon
drivers were the first to pillage us. The arrived together with the Germans,
broke into the storehouses and pillaged everything. I remember particularly
that there were children along with the wagon drivers. These toddlers wished to
taste the taste of plunder and lawlessness at a tender age.
Once I met a boy who was a classmate of mine. He informed me that he had
pillaged all of my pictures from my home, and if I would pay him, he would
return these precious objects to me.
These memories of my young age include many frightful scenes of torture of
children during the holocaust. After the war, they cast a pall on the face of
humankind.
A day came which brought bad news to my uncle. We began to gather together
important necessities for wandering, and we prepared for what was to come.
The Germans began to enlist the men for work. Nobody knew what the
purpose of this work was. In a best-case scenario, this included torture and
various forms of disgrace. People were brought to work in long lines, with
pushing and shoving. However the greatest fear was that one would never return
from this work.
Every day, they would come and requisition men for work. I was courageous,
apparently. I loved my uncle, and I would go out and say: There are no
men here in the house.
The believed me, the young girl. My uncle would hide in the attic, and thus I
saved him from injury and suffering.
After Yom Kippur, my uncle prepared to build his Sukka, as he was accustomed to
do every year. The entire family was gathered together for this mitzvah, which
brought with it some forgetfulness of the present, as if everything was going
according to the way it had gone previously. During the preparations a decree
was heard that we had to appear in the marketplace in fifteen minutes. Whoever
ignored this command was liable to death. We had already had our bags packed
for some time. Within a few moments we gathered our belongings and went. We
were surrounded by Germans. We could not turn right or left. I was laden with a
package that was too large for me. My thin body was too small for it. Other
children were also burdened with luggage that was too big for them. Thus did we
arrive at the San.
The bridge was destroyed. In its place there was a narrow crossing, like a
sidewalk. We crossed the river on it and arrived at the village near Sienawa
where we had previously been hidden. We remained there for one night.
{Photo page 55 backbreaking work.}
We traveled to Sienawa the next day. From there we went to Sadowa Wisznia where
our uncle lived. He owned the large flourmill in the area. His house and mill
were outside the city.
We thought we would have some rest there, that we would find some peace.
However the Russians who governed the area saw that we had lots of property,
and they chased us out of the home and the mill.
We went to live in the city. We rented a long, narrow room with a family, in
order to rest our tired heads.
We spent three or four months without any hope or means. We knew that we were
not secure in our position, and things looked bleak for us. If the Germans were
difficult for us, at least it seemed as if things would pass. With the
Russians, it was different, for their police seemed to us as a tribulation that
would never end. This was the opinion of our uncle, and we who listened to his
conversations thought as he did. On June 1940, on a Friday night, when they
came and informed us that were about to be deported to the depths of Russia, we
registered ourselves among those who wished to return home. We had
the opportunity.
We were advised to continue to hide. We remained for about a week in our hiding
place.
The expulsions had finished, and we set out for home. It was about 110
kilometers to the border. We made the journey mainly on foot, and we were again
separated. The adults went along their way, and we children were sent to a
village until the difficulties would pass. I went to my sister who was in
Lemberg. Upon the advice of my sister, I returned to my uncle who had since
moved to Zhulkev. To our ill fortune, Zhulkev had fallen into the hands of the
Germans. At that time, the period, which was very familiar to me, began
the period of work conscription, torture, and mortal danger.
A Judenrat was set up. Affairs regarding work were organized under its
auspices. Work camps were set up, where the labor force was gathered, and
divided up according to the needs of the various locations.
In the meantime, my uncle died. I remained with my aunt Elka Widenbaum. One
Friday, a German soldier came and told us that in a half an hour, we had to
appear in a certain location with our luggage. He had a list in his hands, and
on his list, only the name of my aunt was registered. My name was not recorded.
I informed him about this, and requested that I be able to join my aunt.
However he strongly refused and insisted that only she go.
When he left, I took the initiative, and I, the young girl, advised her to
hide, so that she should not also go.
In Zhulkev, there lived a woman who was a Lizhensk native, who had married a
man from Zhulkev by the name of Biodenrat. He was an honorable Jew. I surmised
that they would not search his home, and if my aunt would hide there she would
be saved. She got dressed and arrived at the aforementioned house, however it
was closed. To her good fortune, she had forgotten to wear her band of shame
(yellow band) due to the haste. As she returned home, she was stopped by a
German soldier who asked her about the band. Her excuses were to no avail. He
slapped her a few times in the face, and then asked her for her name. It became
clear that this soldier was in charge of the division. He happened to have a
different list in his hands. Her name did not appear on his list, and told her
in a completely different tone: Since you are not on the list, you do not
have to go to the meeting area. Remain and hide, for if you go there, they will
not check the list, and you will be taken along with the rest.
After this he though for a second and added:
There is a house nearby where there are five young children in one crib.
Their father is not there, and their mother is imprisoned in our prison. I
don't have the heart to take them into my custody, and nobody else will take
them. Go there and wait.
This house was near to the area where the events were taking place. We entered
and waited there. All night, the Germans dragged people off to an unknown
place. Children from the area arrived at all times with news about what was
taking place in the area. The final news of that evening was that the Germans
were short of their quota, and they are also taking old people who are not on
the list. My aunt looked older than her age, for the tribulations had aged her.
I lay down with her under the sheets. I spread a blanket over the bed, and the
bed looked empty and made up.
A few moments later some Germans entered and asked us children if there were
any older people in the house. We answered that there were not. They did not
search, and they left.
This was the first Aktion. We survived it, however its impression
was engraved upon my soul for many long years.
At that moment, I celebrated a victory. I began to believe in life and hoped
that other tribulations would also pass, if only I do not lose my will to live.
In the meantime, I separated from my aunt. Apparently, there was no choice,
since the Germans requisitioned quotas of workers, and my aunt was not known of
officially, and therefore was not included in the enumeration.
The Judenrat enlisted me for a work camp. Even today, I do not understand why I
was enlisted for that purpose. I was weak, thin, and small for my age. For what
work would I be fitting? Who decided this?
I decided not to enter the camp, and what will be will be. In the meantime I
found out that my sister moved from Lemberg to Lubczow, and I decided to join
her.
This was a distance of 100 kilometers, and I was only 13. I got up and went.
The journey took two days. Along the way, a girl from Nemirov joined me. We did
not wear our badges of shame, the sign that all Jews were supposed to wear, and
some gentiles permitted us to drive a bit in their wagons. We gave our
belongings that were in our hands to them as payment, and they did not ask who
we were.
Even the Germans who chanced upon us along the route did not pay attention to
us travelers. When I came to my sister, I found that there were tribulations
also there. Camps were set up, and people were enlisted for backbreaking labor.
I decided not to go to a work camp. I desired to live, and I saw the camps as
being very dangerous to my life. My brother-in-law arranged for me to work in a
farm. We got up at five in the morning, worked in the fields, picked weeds from
among the rows of vegetable, and harvested wheat with relative calm. I was
introduced to a scythe for the first time. Under these conditions, I did not
gain a love for farming.
We lived in bunks. Our bunk was near the railroad tracks. The trains traveled
day and night. We knew that these trains transported Jews to the Belzec death
camp, and I wanted very much to live.
One day I came to my brother-in-law and asked him to arrange Aryan
papers for me. The Creator of Life whispered to me that this was the only
escape; however, from where would my brother-in-law be able to acquire these
documents, how could he fulfill my request? I made this request to him urgently
day after day.
One day, he came and told me that he was able to fulfill my request. This
happened by chance. The gentile with whom we had lived in Boleczow came to us
in the camp and told him that she had pity upon us, and she sees it as
necessary to save us.
She succeeded in obtaining a document for me from the local priest, in the name
of a Polish girl who was exiled to Russia, since her father was a Polish
sergeant.
She arranged for a farmer to come and take me to his village where nobody would
recognize me. The gentile did not come, and she did not hold her peace. In
accordance with her advice we decided that I should travel to a work office in
Przemysl and volunteer for work there as an Aryan girl who possesses a legal
birth certificate. She gave me the address of her sister in Przemysl, where I
should stay. I set out on my journey. Nobody accompanied me. I bade farewell to
my beloved relatives, and without fanfare I set out.
I was late for the train.
All of those around me saw this as a bad omen. I was the only one who was not
perturbed. I went out again to the train, this time to a night train. This was
safer, for at my young age I already knew that the night was more dangerous
than the day at times of peace and quiet; however during times of trouble and
life-threatening danger, the night was safer than the day. There was protection
under the darkness of night. The wolf-like people were also less likely to be
wandering around at night.
This time, a gentile woman accompanied me along the way. She arranged a ticket
for me. I was dressed up as a daughter of farmers. I had a kerchief on my head,
a faded, torn dress upon my body and a straw basket in my hands.
The journey lasted for one entire night. Along the way, we moved from train to
train. It was very crowded, and I made my way in these cramped conditions with
one goal in mind
to live. To distance myself from the mortal danger, to
bide for more time, and
to live.
Day broke in Przemysl. There was already a large crowd of people when I
arrived. I was hungry and afraid. The fear of being a stranger in the city made
me forget my hunger. I was afraid lest someone recognize me, lest someone
notice my costume. However I immediately gained my composure.
People asked me if I had any eggs for sale in my basket. I knew that the
disguise succeeded.
I set out directly for the house of the sister of my savior.
The sister greeted me nicely. She had already expected my arrival, and was
ready to help me. That very day, I went to the work office. They interrogated
me at length. They asked me why I am volunteering at such a young age for work
and wandering. I answered them that my parents were exiled to Russia, and I was
alone.
They sent me to Krakow.
We were a group of girls of various ages. The Gestapo agents interrogated us.
They suspected that I was a Jew, and attempted to ensnare me in a trap. One
Pole took me to the Krakow ghetto, for they wished to see what my spontaneous
reaction would be. I passed the test. The scene in the ghetto was blood
curdling. The sighs of the walking skeletons who were awaiting their certain
death, the despair of the children who were wandering between the legs of the
despondent adults, the withered eyes of the girls and the despair of the
mothers all of this froze my senses; however I wanted to live and I knew
that if I did not repress my emotions, I would be captured and liquidated. With
all my energy, I overcame myself. I maintained an indifferent look, as if this
was none of my business.
This was not sufficient for them. They sent me to organize a room in the
office. They watched every move of my hands and body. One of them came and said
to me: We can see that you are not a villager, for you are not used to
physical labor. You are trying, but you are not succeeding. Confess to us that
you are not a villager. He took me and showed me a station in the
distance. He said to go there alone, for he was afraid to go with me, since I
was a Jew and was endangering his well being.
I went.
Someone waited for me near the station and whispered to me: Flee, oh Jew.
We know that you are a Jew. Run for your own good. I answered him
harshly and definitively: You are an idiot. I went on the tram and
returned to the camp.
The next day I was again brought before the Gestapo. They asked me questions in
German, lest I stumble and answer. I answered in Polish that I did not
understand the question. The head of the office decided: She is not a
Jew.
They registered me for a transport that was going to Berlin.
In the morning, there was a roll call for those who were being sent to Berlin.
They called everyone by name. When they reached my name, the called out my
borrowed name three times until I answered. This was not because I forgot my
new name, but rather because I did not believe that they were really going to
take me to their capital city, far from the places of danger.
I remained there for three years among gentile girls, including a pair of
Ukrainian girls. One was jealous of me that the director behaved well toward me
and gave me light work in the work division. They both went and reported that I
am a Jew. The director called me, told me about the accusation, and asked if it
was true. I stood with my story. He believed me because he wanted to believe
me. I had the feeling that he had some anti-Nazi feelings that were aroused in
him when he saw my thin body and poor physique. Something clicked between him
and me. I had a sense of security that I could count on him. The future
corroborated my insight.
There were other Jewish girls at that camp, who arrived in an additional
transport after the Warsaw ghetto uprising. They also came as Christians. Among
them was a girl whose Jewishness exuded from every feature on her face. The
Ukrainians began to spread stories about her, and they publicized the suspicion
of her Jewishness. The matter reached the ears of the director. He called me to
give my opinion about her. I examined her, so to speak, by investigating her
facial expressions, and I made the decision: According to my opinion, she
is not Jewish. There are no more Jews in the world. She was from Warsaw,
and I was not able to get to know her. I felt as if he was soliciting my
opinion.
He answered:
In fact, this is not important. What is important is that she is a human
being.
From that time, I fell that a threesome was formed with regard to my disguise
my heart and the director both wanted our success. In general, I felt at
home in the workshop. People forgot that I was very young and spoke to me as a
person of importance. One day, the director asked me to teach a young girl who
was suspected of being Jewish (and indeed was Jewish) to use the fret saw. This
activity was particularly secretive. The entire operations of the
A. A. G. workshop were secretive, however this was the holy of
holies of the secretive workshop. Such a lesson was an unparalleled stamp
of approval.
I did what I was asked to do. Within a day, the girl knew how to operate the
saw and began to work independently. On her first day of work, she remained to
work in the afternoon. As we prepared to go home, while I was still wearing my
work clothes, one girl came in and informed me that my student had
been injured by the saw. The veins of her hand had been cut, and she had been
taken to the hospital.
The next day, the director came to ask me for details about the incident. I did
not know what to answer him. I requested that he visit her in the hospital in
order to find out how such a thing happened.
He visited her two or three times and then told me that, according to her
words, I reminded her of her little sister, and when I left her, her memory and
imagination became full of images of her sister. Thus did she turn her
attention from her work with the electric saw, and she was injured.
[Translator's note: This story is continued on page 78 under the title I
was a gentile girl in Berlin]
[Page 61]
Among The Gentiles
Who Were After My Life
related by Henia Kopel (nee Reich)
On the eve of Sukkot, it was decreed that we must leave Lizhensk.
In the morning, everyone except for us gathered in the marketplace, in the
place from where the dispersion was to occur. We lived in a remote alleyway and
decided to remain. We remained until the afternoon. The main reason was that we
did not want to travel by foot, and wished to salvage some of our moveable
objects. A milkman who owned a wagon lived near us, and we wished to join him.
He was very poor, but when we asked him if he would permit us to travel on his
wagon, he did not ask for money. We were four children among a group of adults.
When we reached the San, there was still a group of Jews there. We waited to
cross the San.
In fact, we desired to remain, to hide in the city or to go to relatives in
Rzeszow. However a German appeared, pointed his revolver to the head of father
and threatened to kill him if we would not move immediately.
The confusion in the city was very great. People ran about from place to place
in perplexity and confusion.
The bridge had been bombed by the Poles as they retreated. The Ukrainians stood
by and transported the Jews across the San. The transported us in barges in
exchange for money.
We arrived at Korolowka, a village on the other side of the San. We stayed
there for two days and then went to Sienawa, where there was no ruling
authority. When the Germans arrived there, we fled to Baskawoka. I then parted
from my family and went to Lvov to study. I entered a children's home in the
basement of a monastery, and from there we were transferred to another
children's home. I remained in that children's home until the outbreak of war
between the Russia and the Germans.
The children's home was full of Jews and Christians. Its director was a Jewish
communist. The teachers were Jewish, however we were only four Jewish girls:
two from Zamosz, and one who was handicapped.
When the war broke out, we found out that we were abandoned. The entire staff
of teachers had fled. We remained as four lone children among strange and
terrifying surroundings.
The directorship was transferred to Ukrainian hands.
A few days later, the Ukrainian director arrived. He had been a fiery communist
during the time of the Russians; however now he was adorned with the
yellow-blue badge of the Ukrainian nationalists.
I looked at him and did not believe my eyes. Only yesterday he was a committed
communist, however he told me: What are you looking at, there is nothing
to be surprised about, everything changes in the world.
I understood the innuendo. A few days later he expelled us, the four Jewish
girls, to a Jewish orphanage. The two girls from Zamosz returned to their
parents and I remained alone, cut off from everything, forlorn in my childhood.
There was nobody to whom I could turn for help. I was terrified.
This was the first time that I understood what danger was. These were times
when I saw death in its full force, in actuality.
As I walked through the streets, I saw Jewish corpses, people who had been
murdered wallowing in the streets. I saw corpses of Jews hanging from the
porches. These were people who had attempted to flee and had been dispatched to
their eternity by a bullet from the murderers. I witnessed incidents of murder
with my own eyes, and I cannot describe what took place before my eyes.
In this institution, children who were gathered in from the streets were
housed, children with no means and no hope. My suffering grew. The institution
was run by important professors. These were Jews who fell from their high
places and came here because they were short of means and bread.
The hunger was great. We were hungry for bread. We worked in the kitchen in
order to be able to steal a beet to eat. The children became ill with various
illnesses, including scabies.
On one cold, snowy, winter day we were expelled from there. The Germans wanted
to take over the building. We were transferred to another building, which was
shaky, and missing doors and windows. There, there was no cleanliness or food.
I was able to manage, since they though I was an Aryan. I always went around
with another blond haired girl. We both went together to obtain pills in
accordance with the directions of the medical caregivers.
One night we were suddenly awakened. Due to the silence, we immediately
realized that there were only a small number of children. Very few remained.
The director was requested to give over a group for extermination. The youngest
children were taken out of their beds at night and brought to their final
destination. The next day, even this small number diminished further. Only the
healthy ones remained. The directors spread us out among the Jews who had
important jobs, who were left behind by the Germans since their services were
needed for the war effort. The Jews accepted us willingly. Everyone took in a
boy or a girl and shared their bread with them.
After some time, the news reached us that even these remaining Jews were to be
liquidated. I was alert. When I saw that the end was approaching and the
Germans were beginning to gather even the professionals, I dressed up in a
Rozaniec[2]
(a threaded wreath with a large cross woven upon it), and I went out to the
city. I set out toward my home environment, near Rzeszow and Lancut. A
Ukrainian gentile whom I knew from school recognized me as I was in the yard in
front of the train station. He was shocked at my appearance; however I knew how
the situation would end. When he turned to the side, I jumped upon one of the
wagons without a ticket, and I set out.
It was during the winter. Snow covered the whole area. When I arrived at a
village that I was familiar with from my many visits with my parents, I could
not recognize it. The village appeared very different, since we only visited in
the summer, and in the winter it looked quite different. I did not recognize it.
The Jews in the villages were still there, however it was forbidden for them to
travel a distance of more than one kilometer in their village. It was
completely forbidden for them to leave their village.
I arrived at my grandmother's home. She hid me immediately; however two days
later her house was given over to Ukrainian refugees by the committee. One of
them immediately reported me, and death once again stalked me. However, one of
our Ukrainian friends came, informed me of this, and advised me to leave as
soon as possible.
I fled from my grandmother's home and arrived at my uncle's in Sokolow. There
was already a ghetto for all the Jews of Sokolow. This ghetto was unique in
that it did not have a fence or partition. The Jews were simply packed into one
small alley, and were forbidden to move from there.
One night, we heard shots that disturbed the silence of the night. The
Aktion had begun. The Ukrainians spread out on the roads, headed by
Germans who issued orders. They killed, beat, slaughtered and tortured anyone
who they passed by.
In the ghetto, I suffered from hunger along with my uncle. The days of the
Aktion passed us by with all their fury. It lasted for several
days, and the hours that were filled with fright dragged on. Several days
later, the survivors of the ghetto were expelled to Rzeszow. My uncle and his
family escaped, and I went with them to my grandmother in Majdan near Sokolow.
We could not reach my grandmother, since any movement was fraught with the
threat of death. We hid in the forests, we three children and my aunt and
uncle. We met a forester who knew us and made efforts to pursue us. We escaped
from him and fled.
We arrived at a village near Majdan, which was surrounded by the forests of
Count Potocki. At the edge of the village, we went up and hid on the roof of an
isolated house. One night I detected some suspicious movements. I saw that
thieves had broken into the house, who were known to steal anything that would
come to their hands. It was evident that they came only to rob, however I still
took precautions and decided to escape. There was no ladder at the door, and I
fell from the roof directly on the ground. I was bruised as I hit the ground,
and in addition to the bruises due to the fall, I received a blow with the butt
of a rifle from one of the thieves who stood below. I summoned my remaining
strength, and I succeeded in escaping. I came to the mayor or the village and
told him what had happened. All of the villagers burst outside. The thieves
escaped however I had exposed myself and was forced to disappear from the
village.
While I was in the village, I became ill with a severe case of scabies. My body
was full of wounds, scales and aches. I went to a Christian doctor who was
there. He was taken aback by my disheveled appearance, but he took care of me
for a number of days until he cured me. When I regained my health and was about
to take leave of him, he gave instructions to sew me some clothes to warm my
body. It is difficult to forget this incident, a simple, heartwarming gesture
amidst the cruel hell that surrounded me.
We left Majdan on the Sabbath. After the prayers, when the remaining Jews had
returned from the synagogue, a decree was issued that all the Jews must leave
the village. According to the text of the decree, they all had to go to Lancut
for labor. Everyone knew what was intended. We prepared to hide. The only place
where it would be possible to hide was the forest. One of my cousins was a
Yeshiva student, a religious zealot who was deeply attached to Judaism. He said
that he would not go out to the forests since he wanted to be among Jews in a
community, in order to be able to fulfill the daily prayers, continue his
Talmud studies, etc. He set out for Lancut and was shot there, before we even
arrived.
One of our acquaintances took me and brought me to a different village. At
first it seemed to me that I would be able to rest there. Through the
connections of one of my acquaintances, I began to work for a farmer. The work
granted me a spiritual reprieve, despite my young age and my weakened body.
However, two days later, one of the villagers recognized me and I was forced to
escape.
I, a young girl, all alone, fled into the thick forests.
I searched for my uncle and other survivors of my family in the forests. I
could not find anyone. I wandered around tortuous paths that I was not familiar
with, and led to nowhere.
I left the darkness of the forest. I went to the nearby homes and I requested
work. The fields were ready for harvest. I went from house to house and
pleaded. There were those who gave me work in return for a small piece of bread
and a night's sleep, however each of them in turn kicked me out the next
morning. To them my work appeared to like a Zhid, even though they
did not suspect my Jewishness.
Once I had some luck. I asked for work from a gentile woman who had fallen from
a wagon full of sheaves and was not fit to work.
I entered and greeted her with a customary Christian blessing. She liked me,
and I worked for her for several weeks. One day, I returned from my work all
dirty since I had been harvesting potatoes. This was at the beginning of
autumn, and I was wearing a light summer dress. I saw the master of the house
standing outside the house near the door, as if he was no longer going to
permit me to enter the house. A strange man stood next to him. The master of
the house told me that a man was waiting for me. The man turned to me and asked
me many questions about my origins, my nationality, and other such things.
Finally, he told me to follow him.
I knew that I had been turned in. Apparently, someone had recognized me and
slandered me. I requested that he permit me to go into the house so I could get
dressed for the journey.
In the house, I closed the door from the inside. I ran out the back window and
fled with all my energy. At some distance from the house, I climbed up a tall
tree and hid in its thick branches. I enwrapped myself in the leaves and fell
asleep. The night was very cold, and in the middle of the night, the cold was
similar to winter. I shivered from the cold, and wailed like a pack of cats,
but I did not come down from the trees.
At sunrise I looked around and saw that there was nobody around. I came down
from the tree and went along my way. I arrived at a village that was tucked
away in thick forests. I went again from house to house, asking for work and
bread. They sent me to a farmer whose wife was insane and was in need of help.
The farmer treated me well; however I was afraid. What would happen if the
crazy woman would come out of her hiding place? How would I protect myself from
her? Furthermore, where was she? What would happen to me then, if I would lose
my ability to work? Who would feed me?
A few days later the farmer came and told me that two days previously, a Jewish
girl had been uncovered at the home of a farmer in the neighboring village. He
employed her after his wife had fallen off the wagon. He did not know her
origins; however it became revealed, and when they came to take her, she fled
to her grandmother. They went to her grandmother's and did not find the girl.
They began to suspect that the farmer hid her since he needed her services. The
Germans returned and interrogated him. They tortured him severely, but did not
find the girl.
His story concluded. I knew whom he was talking about. I did not know if he
knew whom he was talking about. Frightful days began for me. I again had to be
very vigilant. One day, as I was standing in the stable, I peered out carefully
through the cracks in the walls. I saw the master of the house coming toward me
with a Ukrainian policeman and another person dressed in civilian clothing, who
was carrying a bicycle beside him. I jumped out of the stable and began to run
as fast as a rabbit. All of the people of the village were present, and began
to chase after me. The farmer was the first to catch up to me. We both were far
from them. He grabbed me. I struggled and wrestled in an attempt to free myself
from him. However, he held on to me as if with pincers and did not let go. I
pleaded with to leave me, and I would bring him a large sum of money, if only
he would allow me to flee and disappear. He did not pay attention to my
pleading. He dragged me to the policeman and told him: Here she is, I am
free of her now. She has a lot of money. I did my job, but I am only missing
this.
When I was near the policeman I recognized him. He knew our entire family. He
name was Mroczik. My uncle once made a police cap for him. I realized that he
recognized me and knew who I was. He took me along with the civilian detective.
When we were a distance from the crowd, he began to interrogate me in the
customary fashion, and asked me what I was doing there.
I answered him: I wish to remain alive. I answered him simply, but
this was the truth. However it was also true that I would have been satisfied
if someone would shoot me in the back and murder me, without me having to feel
death approaching.
He took me outside the village and then stopped, showed me directions, and said:
Go in this direction to Ulanow. There are still Jews there. However, my
dear, you should know that if you reveal, and even so much as hint, that I
saved you, they will slaughter me.
The civilian was silent.
At that moment, a car filled with Germans approached. I got out of the way, lay
down in a mound at the side of the road in order to hide. The Germans passed by
quickly without noticing anything. When I got up, he grabbed me and said:
Don't do such things. You have endangered me by this. Go in this
direction. If you stumble across someone, don't try to flee, for this will only
cause yourself to be captured.
He finally added:
And what will happen to all of them will happen also to you.
Until this day I realize that I owe my life to this policeman, to Mroczik, who
saved me. He also gave me the will to live.
It was 35 kilometers from Ulanow.
I remained in the forest until dark. As I sat down I thought that I would not
be able to continue on without clothing. The cold would eat me up, and
furthermore, my attire would arouse suspicions, for people would realize that I
am a Jewess. I decided to return to the former village, to the farmer whose
wife was injured and from whose house I fled, in order to retrieve my clothes
that I had left there.
I arrived there at night. I saw him working. I saw him closing the stable and
then the straw storage shed. As he prepared to enter his house I jumped out of
my hiding place and appeared next to him. He was frightened to death and asked
with trembling: What are you doing here? I asked him to return my
clothes to me. He went into the house, brought me some of them, and requested
that I disappear quickly.
I asked him if he would permit me to sleep in one of the corners of his yard
for just one night. He refused:
I have suffered enough from your stay with me. I was in mortal danger.
You are again endangering my life. Get away from me if your life is dear to
you.
I had no choice. I went along my way, but the night was already dark, and it
was getting colder. I did not have the strength to continue on and move away
from this village. I kneeled down and lay down in a patch of potatoes that had
been harvested. The earth me covered me with warmth and I fell asleep. I slept
the entire night in the deserted field.
I instinctively woke up while it was still night and set out toward Ulanow.
While it was still dark, I managed to reach Rudnik, five kilometers from
Ulanow. I remembered that all of my efforts were to save myself and to survive,
and if it were true that there were still Jews in Ulanow, I would not be able
to be saved. I decided not to go to Ulanow.
I remained in Rudnik. I pretended that I was a refugee, the daughter of
Christian refugees. I searched for work. In one of the houses the women told me
that her mother requires a caregiver. Her second daughter, who is a teacher in
Demblin, left her daughter with her, for she is working and her husband was
taken as a guarantor. As a sign, she told me to tell her mother that I have
come to take care of the daughter of her daughter Irina.
The older woman, a widow by the name of Mrs. Golombiowski, was a hard-hearted
and cruel woman. Her two older sons were activists in the Krajowa army, which
murdered Jews with their own efforts, for Polish nationalistic reasons. What
was I able to do? I wished to live under a roof, to take refuge where there
are walls and heat.
I lived in the house of these evil people for one full year. I was sent out to
work in the fields immediately after my arrival. The care of the granddaughter
was given over to her young daughter who was in the house. I worked at all
sorts of difficult labor, but they hardly gave me any food, with the exception
of scraps of bread. Another Christian boy worked with me. He was their
shepherd. They also did not give him any food. This comforted me, for this was
proof that they were not withholding food from me because they might have
discovered that I was Jewish, but rather simply out of evilness.
This boy was in reality a Christian refugee, even though I thought he was
Jewish. He would steal pieces of bread or potatoes from the house of our
employers for both of us, and thus did we survive in the midst of this evil
family.
One night, the son returned home, and I heard him announce:
How can I wander around strange places looking for work, and living off
the munificence of strangers. I have had enough of it, I will remain at home
and what will be will be.
He was very tall and possessed legendary strength. The Germans were stalking
him and he was not able to live off the munificence of strange
employers. I was able to live in such a manner.
Some time later, in the evening, Germans appeared suddenly and surrounded the
house. I thought that they might be looking for me. I had already lain down on
my bed (a chair and a sack of hay). I covered myself up and trembled. I was
already looking forward to death, and I was almost happy that my end was
approaching. I hoped that everything would finish that evening, and the end of
my suffering would come. However, they were searching for the boys.
That night, the giant, mighty son was murdered. The second one was saved. He
succeeded in fleeing from them, and in continuing his underground activities
against the Germans and the Jews. He dreamed of taking out his wrath by
destroying Jews, since he was not able to do much against the Germans.
He conducted underground meetings during the evenings, and I listened to his
speeches. Once I heard him say: We should set up a golden statue of
Hitler, to honor him that he destroyed the Jewish filth and succeeded in
purifying Poland from its dirty Jews, who never permitted the farmer to walk on
the sidewalk[3]
or mount his horse, and would name his cow with the names of Ukrainians and
Poles, etc.
Every day I spent in this hell that was filled with this evil make me weary of
life. I did not want to continue on.
In the interim, members of the family began to disturb me. They told me:
You see that he is also a son of Polish refugees, and he has identity
papers. You also must arrange your papers, otherwise you cannot continue to
live with us.
Once, Irina came from Demblin to visit her daughter. She related with pleasure
that something interesting happened to her on the train. Among the travelers,
there was a widow with a toddler. She was wearing black clothes, as was the
custom of Christian widows, and the child was eating pork in front of everyone.
However, the travelers recognized for some reason that she was Jewish. They
took them off the train at the first stop, and murdered her and her son in
front of everyone. It was interesting.
This hinted to me that I would have to disappear very shortly. I informed them
that I wrote a letter to my uncle, and he would send me the documents. I wrote
the letter with much fanfare in their eyes, so that they would actually see it,
and a few days later, I ran out at the sound of the barking of the dogs that
announced the arrival of the mail, and I brought in a letter from my uncle, so
to speak, in which he wrote me that the Germans were no longer going to take me
for work, and I was able to return home.
I packed my bag and prepared to leave them as soon as possible.
In the meantime, my friend took interest in the fate of the young refugee. He
was two years younger than I was. He noticed that whenever they started to talk
to me about documents, I changed the subject to something else. He was silent,
and did not say a word. However, he revealed his secret to one of his fellow
shepherds. When he saw me once hiding from the rain, he said to me:
You are Rozia (that is to say, a Jewess). You are afraid of the rain just
like you are afraid of holy water.
The earth began to burn under my feet, for I did not have any peace even
outside the home.
This children's game was more dangerous to me than to others, for
adults are able to make judgments, and if I was necessary to them, they would
not send me away. However these children, if they were to talk and spread
rumors in the village regarding their suspicions, the adults would have no
choice but to send me away or turn me over to the Germans.
I went to his mother and complained about him. I told her that he gave me the
nickname Rozia, and I wept. I wept a great deal, for I took any
legitimate opportunity to weep. Opportunities for weeping were few and far
between, for it was forbidden to me, in my state. I felt at that time a reason
for weeping, and I took opportunity.
The next day, he came to the field and said:
I received a spanking from my mother, but nevertheless, you are
Jewish.
He disturbed me every day, and I was terribly afraid at every moment.
Once, Irina, the married daughter from nearby Demblin came and advised me to go
with her.
I knew that if I went to her to her town, I would have to bring a food card,
and this was only given to those with identity papers. I told her that I did
not want to go, because it was good for me here. She became angry at me and
said:
You can go or remain, however you must give details about yourself to me.
I must know who you are. She interrogated me thoroughly.
She was a teacher. She knew more than they did what she wanted, and perhaps she
wanted to force me in this manner to go travel to her house.
She conducted a thorough interrogation. She wanted to know who my parents were,
where they are, in which Church was I baptized, and when. At the end she
informed me that she had already written letters to those places that I had
mentioned to her parents on various occasions, and she would find out
everything about me.
I knew that my life was approaching its end. There was nothing at all to hope
for.
At night, I had nightmares, and in all of them a white dress appeared.
In the morning, when I was in the pastures, I asked the old women, who always
met us there, what is the meaning of a white dress in a dream.
She answered:
A very bad letter is coming in your direction.
I decided to leave them.
In the same locality, they had relatives. The head of the family was the
postmaster, and his wife was involved in smuggling pork to Warsaw. She was away
from home for days on end.
They had small children, and I knew that they needed a caregiver to take care
of their children during the times that they were both away from home. I also
know that the family that employed me hated these relatives.
I went to them. I informed the mistress of the house that I heard that she
requires a caregiver, and I am prepared to fulfill that role under the
condition that I do not have to leave the house for at least two weeks, until
he winds settle down at the ones they dislike, for I had told them that I was
leaving town.
She agreed.
I stayed with them as a nanny. I took care of the older children, and at night,
I rocked the cradle and baked bread.
Three weeks later, I went to church. This was a Sunday, and I wanted to prove
that I was a faithful Christian and continued with my prayers. Along the way,
my former employer met me. She asked me where I had disappeared, and I answered
her that I was staying with the uncle who had written to me, and that I had my
papers, but I was working at a different place, since it had been very
difficult for me at her house.
I worked in my new place for six months, and nobody paid attention to me. I
tried to remain in the house. I thought that I would be able to lengthen my
stay in Rudnik, and to push off the burden of wandering for a while.
Once, ,the wife of the postmaster went to visit her relatives, the Golombiowski
family, and there she was informed that Janika was Jewish. They said that it
was clear to them, and they had proof.
She returned and told me:
Janika, you know that we love you, and we want you to remain with us, but
there are rumors about that you are a Jewess. We have to know this. We are
liable to be killed for harboring a Jew. It would be different if we knew the
matter truthfully, and then we would know how to behave.
I tried again to escape. I told her that I would travel to my uncle and bring
papers, etc. However, this did not help. She said with anger:
You will not go to your uncle. I will not permit you to travel from here.
You cannot go. Write him a letter, and we will see what the answer will
be.
I agreed.
The next Sunday, I did not go to church. I went to the Golombiowski house.
There I hid and wrote a letter to myself from my uncle, so to speak. I took the
letter out of their mailbox, so that they should know that they saw me
receiving a letter.
In the letter, my uncle wrote to me, so to speak, that he does not agree to
send me letters. He demands that I go to him, and stay with him. I concluded:
I will be leaving you tomorrow or the next day.
She went to the Golombiowski family. They made a cease-fire between themselves
in order to persecute a young Jewish girl. Mrs. Golombiowski told her that I
wrote the letter myself. She returned home full of anger and said:
Now I know the whole story clearly. Whether you want to or not, tell me
who you are, where you are going, the whole story. You told me that you are
traveling with a farmer who is going to a fair. Tell me who he is.
I told her the name of one of the farmers who lives, so to speak, at the edge
of the village near the cemetery. I also told her that I am traveling to my
uncle. She did not hesitate, and went to seek him out, in the snow, ice, and
freezing temperatures that pervaded on that day, December 28, 1943.
When she returned, she told me that there was no such person. I answered her
without giving it any thought:
You are mistaken. He lives on the right side and you were searching on
the left.
She went one more time toward the cemetery. Today, I understand the situation.
She wanted me. She needed me, but she wanted the matter to be quiet, so that
she should not endanger herself. She apparently believed my story, but at that
time, I could not understand why she was making so much effort, even hurting
herself, for she could not manage without me.
When she went out the second time, I placed the infant in the cradle. I brought
the table near to the cradle so it would not tip, and so the child would not
fall out, Heaven forbid. I then went out to flee.
I ran the entire length of one of the streets with sandals on my feet,
half-naked. I arrived at the church at the exit of the town. I hid until a sled
arrived. I got aboard without even asking to where it was going.
Along the way I heard that they are traveling to Kopki that is near Krzeszow.
I got of at Kopki. I went from house to house to search for work. Everyone
refused me, for my shabby appearance made them hesitate. In one place they
directed me to a house where the family needed a nanny.
I entered the house and told them, may the name of Jesus be blessed, someone
sent me to you to work. They informed me that you are in need of a caregiver.
That is correct, they answered, show me your papers.
I told them that I had left them in Rudnik, and that when they would go there
to grind flour at the mill, I would go and get them.
I remained there to work.
Approximately four weeks later, I was traveling with my employer on the street,
and behold, the wife of the postmaster of Rudnik was walking beside me. She
recognized me. She began to run after us. She did not succeed in prodding on
the horses. We got away and she stopped. However, when I returned home, the
mistress of the home told me that a women from Rudnik was there, who was going
from door to door to search for us. She asked everyone: Where does
Janika, the lean girl work. She asked the mistress of the house if she
had checked my documents. The mistress of the house answered that with regard
to a young girl, this was not all that important.
She had chased after me all the way to here in her hatred.
Afterward it became known to me that the day after I disappeared from Rudnik,
she informed the police and went with them to search for me from house to house.
I remained in Kopki for six months, until the beginning of June, 1944.
At that time, news reached us of the activities of the partisans in the area.
Once, I went along my way across a bridge across the river. The bridge was
destroyed. Some S.S. men were guarding it. They were troubled and afraid. The
fear of the partisans was upon them. They attempted to stop me, but they
nevertheless permitted me to cross. Their heart was no longer into the killing
of Jewish children.
In June, the Russians approached the forest. I remained for another six weeks
to work with my employer. The time of harvest was near, and they were in need
of me.
In the meantime, the war ended in that area. The Germans disappeared, and
Russians surrounded the area all the way to Rudnik and beyond.
I decided to return to Rudnik to request payment from the evil Polish woman
with whom I had worked. I was going to request six months of wages.
When the wife of the postmaster saw me, she opened her mouth with a severe
scolding. It was obvious to me that this was feigned anger. She shouted:
How can you be so brazen as to show your face. You left my child and
fled. You could have caused his death.
I maintained my composure and said:
I concerned myself with your child. I arranged it so that he would not
fall out, G-d forbid. However, you made every effort to search me out in order
to kill me. Now the game is finished. Please return to me the money that is
owing to me. The Russians are now present, and there are no Germans who will
protect you in your disgrace.
I was silent. There were already Russians in the yard, and the captain informed
me that he was Jewish.
Along the way, I met the Golombiowski's son, the one who had said that a golden
statue should be erected in honor of the liquidator of the Jews. He told me
that the wife of the postmaster searched for me with the help of the police the
day after I disappeared from her house. He spoke to me with hypocrisy and said:
Tell me, you are a Jewess, why did you not inform me of this? I
saved many Jewish girls in the forests.
His self-righteousness nauseated me. I left him without answering. I ran to the
Russians and informed the Jewish captain about who were the collaborators with
the Germans. My list was complete. The Golombiowskis and the wife of the
postmaster headed it.
This was my small revenge to the lowlife Polish collaborators.
I don't know what they did with them. The next day the captain told me to
escape from town and to flee for my life from the members of the Polish Krajowa
Army terrorist organization.
[Page 72]
A Girl Who Was Saved
by Chaya Stelzer (the daughter of Feivel)
After the Germans entered, there were a few months of quiet. Afterward, the
order was given that all Jews should leave Szarzyna (a village near Lizhensk),
and cross the San to the Russian side, where they must remain.
We went to Ulanow, the town where our aunt lived. Life was very difficult in
this town. We longed for our home and our place. In the meantime the news
arrived that the situation in the German sector was calm. We decided to go to
our Szarzyna, as did almost all of the Jews of Szarzyna. They returned to their
previous homes. However, in the meantime, the Germans brought Poles from
Ukrainian areas to work for the Germans in the village, and they gave them the
homes and fields of the Jews.
The Jews who returned came back to houses that were locked in their faces. Very
few of the newcomers consented to return even one room or a small
plot of land to a Jew, so that the might be able to grow some potatoes.
We managed to sustain ourselves until the end of the summer of 1942. After
that, the tribulations suddenly began. The Poles started trouble and began to
cut the beards of the Jews with the assistance of the Germans, or vice versa.
Polczwartok, who took responsibility for all of the Aktions in the
area, was particularly cruel. However, this was only practice.
At first, we were able to manage with the Ukrainian police. They would inform
us of upcoming Aktions in return for small payments, and the Jews
were able to hide until the danger passed. Later, they were afraid, each from
his fellow. The farmers also began to have suspicions and were afraid of
slander. Since they were not able to make money from our troubles, they began
to take personal pleasure in the anti-Semitism and tribulations that befell us.
Once, they brought trucks and conducted a search for Jews who were hidden in
various areas of the village and the environs. The Jewish refugees from the
Ukraine were also stalked. In general, we would spread out all over when we
began to detect the signs of a search. Everyone would flee according to his
power and ability; in particular the men, who would flee to the forests of the
area.
We were five girls and a mother. We hid in a house that was atop a hill. We
looked out through the cracks and saw sixteen Jews being dragged by a gang
headed by Polczwartok toward the trucks. This group included a mother and a
young child of about four. They cruelly loaded the mother upon the truck and
separated the child from her. They left him alone, and later shot and killed
him.
When things quieted down and the truck disappeared with the captured Jews, we
left our hiding place and ran to the forest to search for our father. He was
not in the forest. He went to Szarzyna to search for potatoes to eat. The
farmers told us that the he was caught by the Germans and murdered.
They later buried him near Liszna Pikala.
Other Jews of Szarzyna, including our brother, were found in the broad forests
of Szarzyna. The morning after the day we fled, the Poles gathered together,
headed by Polczwartok and the overseer Zawaczki, along with Ukrainians. The
police and the Germans organized a search for the remaining Jews of Szarzyna.
We were the first to be captured at the edge of the forest. Mother freed
herself from their hands and shouted with all her strength Children,
flee!. We fled and spread out in all directions. The rest of those
captured spread out behind us. The hunters of humans were perplexed, for they
did not know whom to run after. They were not able to shoot between the trees
lest they hit each other. Fear prodded us along, and we escaped and hid among
the tall stalks. There were places where the farmers were standing and
harvesting their wheat. They threatened us with their sickles and chased us
away. Nevertheless, we found refuge and disappeared from the eyes of our
pursuers.
Heavy rain fell all night. We were wet and frozen. Our brother, who had hidden
with several other young men in a bunker in the forest, found us in the
morning. They gave us some of their food in order to restore our souls. When we
regained some strength, we again separated from them. We, the girls and our
mother, again returned to our uncle near Ulanow. Our brother remained and
returned to the bunker.
In order to get to Korczow, one had to cross a bridge that was guarded by
Germans. It was difficult to cross the bridge. We tied kerchiefs on our heads
in the manner of the Christian villagers. We crossed two by two every few
minutes. We mingled with the farmers who were traveling. With measured steps,
we continued from there to the home of our uncle near Ulanow.
Along the way, we saw several families from Szarzyna wandering around. These
included our relatives Yeshayahu Leib Stelzer and his wife, and Mottel Stelzer
and his family. We remained together in the village. The joy of meeting and the
pleasure of resting together did not last long.
A note came from the head of the village to our aunt informing her that all of
those who were hiding with her were required to present themselves at the
office of the German work camp in Zaklikow. This would have been like
presenting ourselves for certain death. We decided to return to the forests. We
would disappear, and perhaps in this manner we would be able to live for a
while longer, or even be saved completely.
A forester by the name of Ostrowski was in charge of this forest. He was
responsible for many Jewish corpses who had been murdered with his own hands.
He chased after us into the forest and shot after us. He frightened us and
succeeded in gathering us together and taking us to Jaroszyn that is near
Gluchow-Ulanow. This was a large village, but it no longer had any Jews. We
were turned over to the Germans. They showed us the way to the synagogue that
served as a depot for being sent off to death.
There, murderers were standing dressed in black. Their new clothing was shiny
black. They were wearing steel helmets. They beat their merchandise
which was brought to them by the local farmers. All of the locals, even the
weak and simple ones all occupied themselves with stalking. They would go
through the forests armed with sticks and batons in order to search for Jews.
When they uncovered their hiding places, they would gather them together in
groups and transport them to the synagogue.
I must point out that they did not have to exert much effort. Their victims
came to them out of their own free will. Their strength was weakened and their
patience had expired due to hunger and fright. Week by week they became more
dirty and bloated. They no longer sensed their bodies, for all sense of life
had fled from them so to speak. They were weary of life and gave themselves
over to the mercy of the executioners.
Ostrowski captured us while we were near the fire. We were sitting and waiting
for the potatoes to be cooked. We asked that he let us at least finish the
potatoes, but he did not pay attention to our pleas. He put out the bonfire
with his feet, trampled on the potatoes, and took us away. He gave us over to
the farmers. He himself went to find other victims.
The synagogue was permeated with the smell of murder. The walls were sprinkled
with fresh blood and the floor was stained with clotted blood. Farmers stood
near the door, two by two near their wagons. Every murdered corpse was grabbed
by the head and feet and tossed by them onto the wagon, as if it were a carcass
of cattle or swine. They grabbed and tossed all of those who had been shot,
whether they had been shot to death, or whether they had only been injured and
were still dangling between life and death.
We young children were filled with innocent curiosity. We came close to the
wagons and attempted to peer into the eyes of those that were shot to see if
they were our relatives or friends. I recognized several people from Szarzyna,
including family members. When the wagon was filled, the victims were brought
out to the forest where a communal grave had already been dug for all those
that had been murdered.
In the meantime, our brother arrived. We were already prepared for death. There
was no opportunity to flee. The place was surrounded by a high fence which
could not be traversed at all, in particular by us in our current state, where
we were tired, weakened, in despair, and drained of energy.
We were a small group who were left to wait in courtyard. In the meantime our
brother gathered his strength, jumped and went over the fence and disappeared.
We never heard of him again until this day. The farmers ordered us to ascend
the wagon, which had returned from the forest from its burial mission. We were
told to sit and wait. The Germans went in the meantime and did not return, and
at this time the farmers did not know what to do with us.
At that moment, I saw our uncle Mottel Stelzer being carried out of the
synagogue directly into our wagon. He was holding his side with his hand, for
he had been shot. When our group was being shot in the synagogue, Mottel was
shot and fell. The corpses covered him, so the Germans thought that he had been
liquidated. This was night time, and he lay down all night pretending he was
dead. When the farmers came to load the corpses of those who had been murdered
at night onto their wagon they saw that he was alive. The separated him from
the corpses and put him on our wagon to be killed again.
The wagon started to move. We were brought toward the forest, to the place of
the communal grave. We were certain that there would be a German unit over
there responsible for the murder aktion, and that we would be murdered there
next to the open grave.
Nobody guarded us on the route to the forest. There was only the farmer who was
driving the wagon, who was whipping and prodding the horses. The wagon wandered
on, and we were transported inside of it as corn in the wind, without any
energy and without any spirit or desire. Our uncle whispered to my mother that
he would jump of shortly. He had left his wife and children in the forest. He
was captured as he went out to search for bread for them. They did not know
anything of him. He said that he had a piece of bread in his pocket and he
wishes to give it to them. He said that they are waiting for him in the forest.
He jumped. The wagon driver did not notice anything.
I never saw him again after that.
In the forest, the farmer told us to get off. He told us women that it was not
worth wasting any bullets on us, for we would certainly die of hunger.
His prophecy was almost fulfilled, for there was nothing to eat. We wandered
around during the nights to search for carrots, onions, beets or other
vegetables with which to sustain ourselves. We depended on these vegetables to
assuage our hunger they were our hope. However we could not find any of
them. We were hungry and weary. We waited for death to redeem us. Our life was
worse than death itself.
A short time later, mother died from hunger, and after her, two of my sisters.
One of the two that remained also disappeared suddenly. Until this day I do not
know what became of her, where she is now. I remained as a nine year old child
with my sixteen your old sister.
We did not know where to go in our situation. We did not have anywhere to
sleep. At night we sneaked into horse stables, haystacks and barns in order to
sleep. At times, the sleep was very sweet to us and we continued to sleep
amidst the warm manure until morning. Then we were captured and waited for
death. The farmers were angry that we endangered them by hiding on their
premises.
In the meantime, the cold of the winter set in with full force. The ice and
snow caused us unimaginable distress. We wandered day and night from place to
place, barefoot and almost naked, until we arrived at a village called
Bielinice. We entered the house of a farmer to warm up. He did not bother us.
He went immediately to call the Germans for he recognized that we were Jewish.
The Germans could not imagine that there were still Jews alive, for they had
already liquidated all the Jews in the vicinity. They wondered how we two young
girls managed to hide ourselves. A wagon stood by, that had already been
waiting for a few hours, and we were ordered to get on board. There was a
Jewish cemetery a few kilometers away, near the village of Wolka Tanewska. The
farmer told us that there all of the Jews were buried, and that they were
bringing us to that cemetery to liquidate us. The route went by a bridge over
the Tanew River not far from the cemetery. We requested that the farmer not
drive fast, for we were too weary to tolerate the movement of the wagon. He
understood my thoughts and realized that I was preparing to jump and escape. He
urged on the horses faster. I saw that we were nearing the bridge, and there
certainly I would not be able to jump. My sister told me that she does not have
the power to jump.
I jumped to freedom myself.
I went into the deep snow, and nobody noticed me. I rested for many hours,
covered by the snow. I looked around the area and noticed that there was nobody
there, so I got up and went. I set out for the nearest village in the opposite
direction. I wandered through twisted paths until I reached a village. I
presented myself as a Christian. There were houses that did not want to see me
at all. My Polish was as good as a gentile's, however my black hair and torn
clothes betrayed me. They asked me from where I came, where was I going. I told
a different lie to each one. How could I have the energy to continue on, oh G-d
how can I have the energy? But a miracle occurred.
When we were in the forest of Szarzyna, before some time, quite a while ago,
when we were still several sisters and a mother, we met an elderly gentile who
was chopping trees in the forests. She had mercy upon us. She felt bad for the
beautiful young girls, she said, and she advised us to learn the Christian
prayers. She said This will help you, these prayers help, the prayers to
the crucified Jesus.
Now the prayers that I learned from the good old woman helped me not in
the manner she intended, but they helped me nevertheless. The gentiles
attempted to determine my nationality. They asked me about the prayers and I
passed the test. In particular, I was proficient in the night prayer prior to
going to sleep, and thereby I was saved, for they were certain that only good
Christians know there prayers, and therefore I must be a good Christian.
The women had pity on me. I slept with the animals in the barns and stables.
Once I lay down to sleep in the horse stall and fell asleep. The gentile
scattered the straw for the horses on top of me and covered me without my
noticing. The horses ate up the straw and fodder and uncovered me. I remained
there all night and left in the morning.
On rare occasions they permitted me to sleep in the houses. I asked for work
from the farmers and they mocked me. In one village I came across an elderly
woman with two sons who ran the farm. I pleaded with them that they should give
me some work. I told them all sorts of stories about my origins and my
situation. They liked me. They did not have a daughter and they took me in to
take care of the cows and to do all sorts of difficult labor that was not
fitting for my age. No boy of my age would have been able to withstand these
difficulties. I behaved as a Christian. I made the sign of the cross every day
and I went to church like the rest of the villagers.
They thought of me as a true Christian and did not suspect at all that I was a
Jew. Nevertheless, they gave me the worst type of food and did not permit me to
sit with them at the table.
In this village, as I recall, Jews had never lived and the Germans never hunted
for Jews there even though they came in to town to purchase food or fodder.
They talked to me in German; however I suspected that they wanted to expose my
Jewishness so I remembered not to understand German. I pretended well, and
spoke Polish in the regional manner. I was surrounded by fear daily. The old
woman spoke German, for during the previous war she was in Silesia and learned
German there. She redeemed me and spoke to them in their language.
In the meantime, the war ended. I was forced to continue hiding my Jewishness
for several more years. I was afraid. Fear dragged me. I was used to fear, but
this fear was also well founded. Who knows what they would do with an abandoned
girl. What could I do. I wanted already to leave them, to return to among Jews,
relatives or those dear to my heart. I looked for a pretext to explain this,
and to be able to travel.
I began to ask them if they would permit me to travel and study in some
institution. I told them: I did not have a chance to study, I am a boor,
and now that the war is over I want to study and gain education.
There is no value, I said, to a person without
education.
They were not inclined in this manner. I found a farmer in a nearby village who
agreed to support me in return for my work, and also to permit me to travel to
learn. I moved over to him. Once when I was with his wife in the field, I saw
from afar our field in Szarzyna. Various pictures from my past came and danced
in front of my eyes. My entire life passed before the eyes of my spirit. I had
various memories from a long time ago. I began to weep. The war had already
been finished for two years and I still had to hide my Jewishness. A burning
pain overtook me. My heat was broken, and I sighed out loud. The gentile woman
noticed, and asked me why I was weeping. She did not ask me anymore, and did
not say anything more to me.
When she got home, she told her husband everything. He was an officer in the
secret police, and he understood what was going on. My cover was exposed to
him. To him, everything was clear.
He did not say anything. The next day, he got up early and went to Bilgoraj to
find out how to behave toward me, and what to do with someone who has property
in Szarzyna. He wanted to know how to sell the property. By chance, a Jew
worked in that office, and he asked him about why he was so interested in these
fields. This was a suspicious matter in the eyes of the Jew. He did not leave
the farmer go until he was forced to admit that in his house there is a young
girl, and he does not know if she is Jewish or not. Her family had property in
Szarzyna. The official requested that he bring her the girl. He was afraid to
go to the village. I was worried about traveling with the gentile lest he have
some plan against me, lest he kill me along the route. After he begged me
repeatedly, I traveled with him to Bilgoraj.
The Jew spoke to me in Polish in the office, but at the first opportunity that
presented itself, he spoke to me in Yiddish and wanted to know if I was Jewish.
The fear which was ingrained in me for many years now did not permit me to
reveal everything, however he urged me on and encouraged me to trust him, for
there is no longer anything to be afraid of.
I told him everything. I opened up all the chambers of my heart. He requested
that I travel with him immediately to the Jewish council in Krakow, who would
arrange everything for me according to his words. I wanted to first go back to
all of those who were kind to me to thank them for their kindness. I first went
to the villages. I took nuts for the children, and bade everyone farewell.
In 1950, I went to Szarzyna via Lizhensk. The gentiles did not want to tell
anything. It was as if nothing took place during those years. All of the Jewish
homes were occupied by gentiles. They also worked the fields of the Jews.
I did not succeed in gaining much information from them. Here and there, they
told me something.
I heard that the village priest collaborated with the Nazis. There was a group
of young men hiding in the area until the winter of 1943. When they were
already weakened and crushed without any energy for life, they hoped that the
priest would help them. They went to him. When they arrived at his house, the
priest began to bang the drum that was in his house. This was the agreed sign
between him and the Germans that they should come to him, for he has a
find for them. The Germans did not tarry in coming. The lined up
all of the poor boys along the fence of the priest's courtyard and shot them
all to death. The gentiles mentioned that for a long time thereafter, there
were stains of blood bubbled forth from the snow along the entire length of the
fence.
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